Challenging Ageism Day for me: January 20th (plus MLK day)

January 20th is the day I reflect on the fruitful experiences that have given me significant motivation to challenge ageism and other forms of discrimination.

Two of my friends share the same January 20 birthday but were born in different years: my elementary school friend was born a year after me, and my high school friend was born a year before me. Despite these age differences, their behaviors and attitudes revealed a truth that helped me shape my perspective: age alone does not define a person.

I initially gained the courage to challenge ageism when my elementary school friend revealed that he had actually been born a year after me and our classmates. Having grown up in Korea with a then strong Confucian mindset, I was genuinely shocked to learn that he was “younger”. I found no notable differences between his behavior or manner of speaking and those of the other friends I had encountered throughout my academic life. His behavior strongly contradicted the belief held by most Koreans that one’s age directly reflects one’s maturity.

Little did he know until I later expressed my appreciation—which I still do—this moment became a turning point for me; I wholeheartedly learned that age should never be used to define a person. I’ve since disregarded any age-based beliefs, which unfortunately remain widespread in Korean society even today, and I instead focus on individuals’ values and perspectives rather than demographic factors such as age when forming my understanding of others.

While I was challenged by some with ageist remarks during my first two high school years, I met several classmates during junior and senior years—including my high school friend—who accepted me as an equal same grade peer rather than defining me by age. Even after we became aware of our age difference, with me being a year younger, we mutually agreed not to use any age-based remarks, recognizing that we’re in the same grade. Through his introduction to other same grade classmates, I was grateful for the opportunity to socialize with older same grade peers who welcomed me and treated me as their equal, without any expectations from them to call them hyung or noona, despite our age differences typically of a year or two. This experience—being valued for who I was rather than how old I was—is actually my expectation and a key reason I chose to follow the U.S. curriculum (vs. a year slower Korean curriculum) in my academic journey.

On January 20th, as I congratulate the birthday of my two friends, I appreciate them as well as I reflect on the experiences brought by them that helped me increase awareness in ageism and the significance of equality since I was a young juvenile.

The fact that January 20th is very close to if not the same date as Martin Luther King Jr. Day holds greater significance for both days for me, as I remember the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. and appreciate his significant efforts to terminate discrimination based on one’s demographics.